Miriam's Eulogy for Daddy
Choices. We are always given plenty of choices in life. Daddy lived his life according to those choices given him. Some of the options were not that great but he still did something instead of nothing. Even in his last hours, Daddy exercised those choices that he thought were best for himself and for his family. We, who are now left behind by our father, honor those choices he has made a long the way.
Before I go on, on behalf of Mommy and my siblings, I would like to thank all of you for honoring my father’s life with your presence and prayers. It means so much to us that you are here to help us celebrate the life of a wonderful man whom we love dearly and who will always be in our hearts.
Sometime last year, I sent my parents a questionnaire about family memories. This was meant as a preparation for their golden wedding anniversary in 2011. I am so glad Daddy was able to do that then. This is how I was able to prepare this tribute to Daddy. It is a wonderful gift to us, and for the generations in our family yet to come. I wish I were sharing this with you on a happier occasion.
Daddy was born on January 2, 1934 in Manila but was raised in Calamba, Laguna by his parents, Patricio (a dentist and businessman) and Teodora (a piano teacher). He is the 3rd of 4 children: Benilda (now a retired medical doctor based in Texas), Rosendo (a college professor who passed on in 1988), and Perpetuo (a lawyer who lives with his family in Marikina). He was closest to his youngest sibling, Pert (who is still fondly called “Baby” by many relatives). My Dad’s given name was Jesus but the nickname “Esoy” was what he was affectionately called.
Dad credits his love of music to his parents, who also influenced him the most in life. Lolo Ticio taught him how to play the violin (which got him hooked) and Lola Doray was his piano teacher. My grandparents always told their children to study hard and they did. Daddy and his siblings carried on this philosophy when they themselves became parents.
He had a happy childhood filled with friends (the Arambulos, Eddie Capule and Sergio Alibutod) who frequently went swimming with him at the aplaya (Laguna Lake) which, according to my cousin Teddy, is now a toxic sewage dump. He enjoyed their family outings to Cabuyao and Binan, Laguna, mostly to visit other relatives. He loved being in school and got average grades and his best subject? What else ----music.
In high school, it was rare during those days to have a teenager who can play the violin (or maybe any other instrument for that matter) so he was often asked to perform at school assemblies at Laguna Institute. He enjoyed being the “star of the show” and that helped motivate him to pursue a career in music.
After high school, he studied violin at the Conservatory of Music at the Philippine Women’s University. This was probably how Daddy became a “ladies’ man” and easily charmed his then would-be-wife, Agnes, who was a nurse at the Sacred Heart Hospital in Paco, Manila. My father, along with some cousins, were college boarders at this hospital owned by their aunt, Dra. Miguela Gemil. Tita Panching, one of Daddy’s first cousins, amusingly recalled how Daddy used to disappear during some evening prayer sessions as he was out and about wooing the nurses at the hospital. Mommy said Daddy won her by his good looks, and this was also affirmed by Mommy’s sister, Tita Carling who said that her first impression of Daddy was “poging-pogi.”
It wasn’t long after they met that Mommy left for the US to continue her nursing studies in Virginia. Daddy corresponded with her regularly during that time and that courtship led to a lifelong commitment. Mommy came back in 1961, just in time for one of the happiest times of Daddy’s life: his graduation recital in 1961 at PWU. On December 23 of the same year, they were wed at St. Vincent de Paul Church with some of Dad’s colleagues performing the music at the ceremony.
They had 5 children: Miriam, Wilhelmina, Dennis, Benedict and Julius. As children we were never spanked and any misbehavior was dealt with quite lovingly. Over the years, he emphasized to us that the best inheritance he and Mom will be able to give us would be our education. For that we will forever be grateful.
His career in music involved being a music teacher at Torres High School, conducting the rondalla at Immaculate Conception Academy and becoming a member of the Manila Symphony Orchestra. He played first violin for MSO which made it easy for us to spot him during the televised concerts. This was the highlight of his career. His job never really seemed like work because he enjoyed what he did. As a child, I remember how much I enjoyed watching him perform, particularly on broadway musical shows. I still do.
For fun, Daddy loved to watch movies, especially James Bond movies, and playing bingo. He also enjoyed swimming, walking around the subdivision and going to the mall.
When he was a child, he dreamed of someday having his own house and traveling abroad. He got those fulfilled. He traveled to different countries in Asia to perform as a musician to support his family. In 1998, he went to the US when my youngest of three children, Erin, was born. He was also able to visit his sister, Benilda, in Texas. Tita Nilda remembers how proudly she showed off his violinist brother to her friends while she accompanied him on the piano. When she constantly kept missing notes, Daddy swatted her with the violin bow, chastising her for not practicing often enough, to the amusement of her friends. He also visited his cousins in Pennsylvania who brought him to Atlanta to play at the casinos and to New York to watch a broadway show and see the then existing twin towers of the World Trade Center. He really had a wonderful time. His sister and cousins likewise enjoyed his visit as he was such a fun person to be with.
Life changed dramatically in 2001 when he had a heart attack in which he needed to have a bypass operation. Unfortunately, his heart was too weak to withstand a surgical operation. Prior to this, he suffered from prostate illness while in Korea and had prostate surgery in 1993. At that time, he had already been dealing with another health challenge: diabetes. He lived the next few years on medication, lifestyle changes, prayers and novenas.
In thanksgiving for surviving the heart attack, he (as accompanied by Mommy) religiously attended and played the violin with his musician friends at the Wednesday novenas and Masses at the Baclaran Church for 9 consecutive weeks and then every first Wednesdays of the month after that, for almost 2 years.
In 2004, I came home to attend my 25th high school reunion. I didn’t know that that would be the last time I would see Daddy alive. We had many wonderful memories during that visit --- at Island Cove Resort and watching a movie at Eastwood, among other things. One of the highlights of that trip was having a professionally done portrait session for our whole family, one of which was all of us wearing graduation togas. He was proud that he was able to send us all to college.
Our family will forever be grateful for all the love, prayers, generosity and support you have all given us. We’d like to thank all the relatives, particularly, Tita Nilda and Tito Baby and their families. Thank you for the visits to the hospital --- you have made it known to Daddy how much he is loved and cared for. Thank you to our neighbors at Dominic 6, friends and everyone else whose lives were touched by our father and who have touched our father’s life.
We’d like to acknowledge Mommy, whose deep affection, dedication and devotion to our father is unparalleled. I commend Mina, Dennis, Dick, Julius, Svet, Christine and Erica for keeping everything in control and supporting Mom, especially during Daddy’s hospital stay and after --- preparing for the funeral. Mommy said they didn’t have a memorial plan…just a prepaid burial plot. Actually they did --- it’s called Mina, Dennis, Dick, Julius, Svet, Christine and Erica! I also want to thank my husband, Ting, for being a strong pillar of support as I dealt with the rollercoaster effect of my father’s illness and eventual death.
We also want to thank the doctors and medical staff who cared for Daddy at the Philippine Heart Center for Asia, especially to Dr. Guanlao, his cardiologist, and to my very good friend, Dra. Paz Mateo, who treated my parents like they were her own.
Now that he is no longer in pain, he can travel anywhere --- no luggage to tote, no passports to show, no airfare to pay, no doctor’s permission to seek --- he is free in more ways than one.
The legacy of our father will be how we, his children and all his descendants, will live on. After all, we carry his genes, his smile, even his love of music. We will make him proud, maybe even prouder than we are now of having had him for a father.
Daddy, we will miss you dearly, but we want you to know, the best is yet to come.
